After I started writing the post
3-Word Movie Descriptions I realized that what had begun as a lark had somehow become "a mission". I watched that blog post in utter fascination as it mutated from 50 to 100 items, almost as if someone else were writing it and not me. I also found out that it's not easy to come down from a high like that, cold turkey.
So, here's another list. This one consists of 3-word descriptions of television shows from the 1950s through the mid-1990s. Back when I was still watching live TV. I can't even
begin to think about 3-word descriptions for TV shows after 1995 because
I haven't watched a single one since 1995. So, that means there are no TV shows from the 21st Century in this list. OK by me.
That's right, for the past 17 years I've only watched VHS recordings and DVD collections of movies and TV shows from the 1950s-1990s. I do this to escape from reality. I've had enough of reality. I've got enough reality to do me for the rest of my life. I've got reality coming outta my ears. So, here's the list. After this list hits 100 shows I'll let it rest like a sleeping dog that might bite me if I wake it up. That's right, you'd probably never see these descriptions in the old TV Guide. Too bad. They could have been real time savers.
The A-Team — Cheesy commando capers.
The Addams Family — Stale Munster Cheese.
Alice — Widowed Waitress Woes.
All in the Family — Anti-WASP Lear shit.
The Andy Griffith Show — Sheriff knows everything.
Bachelor Father — Life before Dynasty.
Barnaby Jones — Jed goes gumshoe.
The Beverly Hillbillies — Buddy Ebsen 90210.
Bewitched — Nosey housewife trouble.
The Bionic Woman — Tit-for-Tat Libber shit.
Bonanza — Cowboy land-hog family.
The Brady Bunch — Florence Henderson's nightmare.
Cagney and Lacey — Bitches with badges.
Cannon — Pork Pie P.I.
Captain Kangaroo — Free grandpa babysitter.
Car 54, Where AreYou? — Life before Munsters.
The Carol Burnett Show — Harvey Korman Hour.
Charlie's Angels — Eye Candy Spies.
Checkmate — Snobby Frisco gumshoes.
Cheers — Tavern enables losers.
CHiPs — Cheesy biker cops.
Dallas — Texas Oil Soap.
The Danny Thomas Show — Dad throws fits.
The David Letterman Show — Host disrespects people.
The Dick Van Dyke Show — Pathetic pussy-whipped husband.
Dragnet — Cop talk show.
The Dukes of Hazzard — Moonshine monkey business.
Dynasty — Denver Oil Soap.
The Ed Sullivan Show — Live floor shows.
The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show — Hollywood housewife hijinks.
Get Smart — Tennessee Tuxedo Spy.
The Girl from U.N.C.L.E. — Girl, my ass.
The Golden Girls — Susan Harris filth.
The Gong Show — Tinker, Tailor, Emcee.
Green Acres — Hicks devil newcomer.
Gunsmoke — Bored out west.
Happy Days — Dopey Doo-Wop Days.
Hawaii Five-O — Prick in Paradise.
Hazel — Hag maid's escapades.
Hee Haw — Flyover variety show.
Here's Lucy — Secretary from hell.
Hill Street Blues — Touchy feely precinct.
I Dream of Jeannie — Bottled Up Babe.
I Love Lucy — Housewife from hell.
The Jeffersons — Husband throws fits.
Knight Rider — Chatty Cathy Car.
Kojak — Telly Savalas shit.
Leave It to Beaver — Stupid boy's shenanigans.
Little House on the Prairie — Bookoo boo-hoo settlers.
The Love Boat — Soap that floats.
Lost in Space — Zorro-Lassie Space-Time Continuum.
The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour — Housewife from hell.
The Lucy Show — Secretary from hell.
Magnum, P.I. — Cheesy paradise gumshoe.
Make Room for Daddy — Dad throws fits.
Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman — More Lear shit.
The Mary Tyler Moore Show — Laura Petrie's Zombie.
The Man from U.N.C.L.E. — Botany 500 spooks.
Mannix — L.A. P.I. hijinks.
Married With Children — Family from hell.
M*A*S*H — Alan Alda soapbox.
Maude — Born to bitch.
The Mickey Mouse Club — Kids hawk Disney.
Mission Impossible — Hokey impossible missions.
Mork & Mindy — Clown from space.
Mr. Ed — Gabby equine escapades.
The Munsters — Ghouls secure mortgage.
The Muppet Show — Politically correct puppets.
My Favorite Martian — Interplanetary Odd Couple.
My Three Sons — Clueless suburban dad.
The Nanny — Brazen bombshell whiner.
Newhart — Green Acres, Vermont.
One Day at a Time — FUBAR feminist mom.
Petticoat Junction — Hooterville hooter stop.
Police Woman — Bitch with badge.
Rat Patrol — Jeeps versus Tanks.
Quantum Leap — Time-travel identity crisis.
The Rifleman — Rancher pumps Winchester.
Sanford and Son — Dad from hell.
Saturday Night Live — Baby-Boomer Comedy Hour.
Seinfeld — Over-indulged cross-eyed comic.
Sesame Street — Politically correct puppets.
The Simpsons — Cartoon from hell.
60 Minutes — Mike Wallace Show.
The Smurfs — Politically correct gnomes.
St. Elsewhere— Masochistic Medical Misery.
Space 1999 — Landaus go missing.
Star Trek — Starship without seatbelts.
Taxi — Cabbies versus Prick.
The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson — Celebrity gab fest.
The Tonight Show Starring Jay Leno — Johnny goes missing.
Three's Company — Suzanne Somers shack-up.
To Tell the Truth — Liar, liar, kidder.
The Partridge Family — Family bubble gum.
You Bet Your Life — Groucho grills America.
Welcome Back, Kotter — Classroom from hell.
The Waltons — Life before Walmart.
What's My Line? — Knickerbockers know nothing.
WKRP in Cincinnati — Hair Helmet Secretary.
Wonder Woman — Superbabe fights crime.
post updated 12-28-12
