Science fiction author Michael Casher dusts the cobwebs off previously unused sections of his brain.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Stupid Movie Shit

Hollywood movies made since 1990 contains these three stupid scenes:

1) Gratuitous Sex Scene – This is a scene where twenty-somethings loose their tops, drop their drawers, suck face and provide eye candy for a dating audience.

2) Strip Club Scene – This is a scene where stupid twenty-something males drool over bimbos who aren’t wearing any tops or drawers or both and who wouldn't give these dorks the time of day out on the street.

3) Men Peeing Scene – This is a scene in a men’s room with men relieving themselves at urinals for people who like that kind of reality in a movie. Cops being chewed out by their precinct Captains, drugs dealers moving product, confidential informants being shaken down, etc. etc. Why anybody on God’s green earth wants to see this is totally beyond me.

My solution to this "stupid movie shit" problem is this:

Have each Hollywood movie open with a gratuitous sex scene in a restroom that is part of a strip club. Show this scene while the opening credits are rolling. No one can read them anyway these days, the letters are so damn small. This way, you’ll kill all three birds with one stone.

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