Just Say “No” to Slugs

I've often believed that people who search the Internet for free blogs to read while ignoring all other published material are often federal agents, aliens, terrorists and Illuminati spies, all of whom are looking for skeletons, weak spots, toe-holds and soup-starter for big boiling pots of legal gumbo.

But some blog readers are just lazy slugs who are also too cheap to pay for the really good stuff. They believe that being addicted to reading blogs is actually a disease and not a lifestyle choice and that makes me laugh.

The image shown here is a composite of all those kinds of blog readers. This particular figment of my paranoid imagination is a legal clerk for a crooked lawyer in Philadelphia. It’s his job to read blogs all day long and catch people saying really stupid things or revealing way too much about themselves in their blogs. Then he and his boss move in like vultures and sue the pants off bloggers they can’t easily blackmail.

If you see this guy snooping around your private affairs, just wave a book at him, any book, and he’ll go away and never bother you again.