It's For You

The Pluto Observer: R.I.P.

Watch this video at Michael Casher Tube

Between September 2005 and October 2010 "The Pluto Observer" was the official "newsletter" of Science Fiction for Thinkers.com.

What was in this "newsletter"? Well, the latest solar system and Earth news, naturally, with lots of "comic relief" thrown in to make that junk go down a little easier. Plus a lot of news commentary and editorial opinion because I wrote this online monthly newsletter under a pen name, mostly for therapy.

Maybe that's why nobody read it. For more information, use the following link:

Science Fiction for Thinkers.com / The Pluto Observer

3-Word TV Show Descriptions

After I started writing the post 3-Word Movie Descriptions I realized that what had begun as a lark had somehow become "a mission". I watched that blog post in utter fascination as it mutated from 50 to 100 items, almost as if someone else were writing it and not me. I also found out that it's not easy to come down from a high like that, cold turkey.

So, here's another list. This one consists of 3-word descriptions of television shows from the 1950s through the mid-1990s. Back when I was still watching live TV. I can't even begin to think about 3-word descriptions for TV shows after 1995 because I haven't watched a single one since 1995. So, that means there are no TV shows from the 21st Century in this list. OK by me.

That's right, for the past 17 years I've only watched VHS recordings and DVD collections of movies and TV shows from the 1950s-1990s. I do this to escape from reality. I've had enough of reality. I've got enough reality to do me for the rest of my life. I've got reality coming outta my ears. So, here's the list. After this list hits 100 shows I'll let it rest like a sleeping dog that might bite me if I wake it up. That's right, you'd probably never see these descriptions in the old TV Guide. Too bad. They could have been real time savers.

The A-Team — Cheesy commando capers.

The Addams Family — Stale Munster Cheese.

Alice — Widowed Waitress Woes.

All in the Family — Anti-WASP Lear shit.

The Andy Griffith Show — Sheriff knows everything.

Bachelor Father — Life before Dynasty.

Barnaby Jones — Jed goes gumshoe.

The Beverly Hillbillies — Buddy Ebsen 90210.

Bewitched — Nosey housewife trouble.

The Bionic Woman — Tit-for-Tat Libber shit.

Bonanza — Cowboy land-hog family.

The Brady Bunch — Florence Henderson's nightmare.

Cagney and Lacey — Bitches with badges.

Cannon — Pork Pie P.I.

Captain Kangaroo — Free grandpa babysitter.

Car 54, Where AreYou? — Life before Munsters.

The Carol Burnett Show — Harvey Korman Hour.

Charlie's Angels — Eye Candy Spies.

Checkmate — Snobby Frisco gumshoes.

Cheers — Tavern enables losers.

CHiPs — Cheesy biker cops.

Dallas — Texas Oil Soap.

The Danny Thomas Show — Dad throws fits.

The David Letterman Show — Host disrespects people.

The Dick Van Dyke Show — Pathetic pussy-whipped husband.

Dragnet — Cop talk show.

The Dukes of Hazzard — Moonshine monkey business.

Dynasty — Denver Oil Soap.

The Ed Sullivan Show — Live floor shows.

The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show — Hollywood housewife hijinks.

Get Smart — Tennessee Tuxedo Spy.

The Girl from U.N.C.L.E. — Girl, my ass.

The Golden Girls — Susan Harris filth.

The Gong Show — Tinker, Tailor, Emcee.

Green Acres — Hicks devil newcomer.

Gunsmoke — Bored out west.

Happy Days — Dopey Doo-Wop Days.

Hawaii Five-O — Prick in Paradise.

Hazel — Hag maid's escapades.

Hee Haw — Flyover variety show.

Here's Lucy — Secretary from hell.

Hill Street Blues — Touchy feely precinct.

I Dream of Jeannie — Bottled Up Babe.

I Love Lucy — Housewife from hell.

The Jeffersons — Husband throws fits.

Knight Rider — Chatty Cathy Car.

Kojak — Telly Savalas shit.

Leave It to Beaver — Stupid boy's shenanigans.

Little House on the Prairie — Bookoo boo-hoo settlers.

The Love Boat — Soap that floats.

Lost in Space — Zorro-Lassie Space-Time Continuum.

The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour — Housewife from hell.

The Lucy Show — Secretary from hell.

Magnum, P.I. — Cheesy paradise gumshoe.

Make Room for Daddy — Dad throws fits.

Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman — More Lear shit.

The Mary Tyler Moore Show — Laura Petrie's Zombie.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. — Botany 500 spooks.

Mannix — L.A. P.I. hijinks.

Married With Children — Family from hell.

M*A*S*H — Alan Alda soapbox.

Maude — Born to bitch.

The Mickey Mouse Club — Kids hawk Disney.

Mission Impossible — Hokey impossible missions.

Mork & Mindy — Clown from space.

Mr. Ed — Gabby equine escapades.

The Munsters — Ghouls secure mortgage.

The Muppet Show — Politically correct puppets.

My Favorite Martian — Interplanetary Odd Couple.

My Three Sons — Clueless suburban dad.

The Nanny — Brazen bombshell whiner.

Newhart — Green Acres, Vermont.

One Day at a Time — FUBAR feminist mom.

Petticoat Junction — Hooterville hooter stop.

Police Woman — Bitch with badge.

Rat Patrol — Jeeps versus Tanks.

Quantum Leap — Time-travel identity crisis.

The Rifleman — Rancher pumps Winchester.

Sanford and Son — Dad from hell.

Saturday Night Live — Baby-Boomer Comedy Hour.

Seinfeld — Over-indulged cross-eyed comic.

Sesame Street — Politically correct puppets.

The Simpsons — Cartoon from hell.

60 Minutes — Mike Wallace Show.

The Smurfs — Politically correct gnomes.

St. Elsewhere— Masochistic Medical Misery.

Space 1999 — Landaus go missing.

Star Trek — Starship without seatbelts.

Taxi — Cabbies versus Prick.

The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson — Celebrity gab fest.

The Tonight Show Starring Jay Leno — Johnny goes missing.

Three's Company — Suzanne Somers shack-up.

To Tell the Truth — Liar, liar, kidder.

The Partridge Family — Family bubble gum.

You Bet Your Life — Groucho grills America.

Welcome Back, Kotter — Classroom from hell.

The Waltons — Life before Walmart.

What's My Line? — Knickerbockers know nothing.

WKRP in Cincinnati — Hair Helmet Secretary.

Wonder Woman — Superbabe fights crime.

post updated 12-28-12

Thinck Tank

If you're in a hurry or if you're a little wary or if you just need a hint, watch this video and you'll get a smattering of what the Thinck Tank blog is about.

3-Word Movie Descriptions

There are all kinds of reasons why people go to the movies or watch movies on TV. I have no idea what their reasons are. But I know what my reasons are and I think I might share these reasons with a few other people.

Now, these aren't movie reviews, they're movie descriptions, like the brief one-line descriptions we were getting from the old TV Guide just before they went tabloid on us and lost me as a reader. My descriptions, however, are designed for the Web, where there's no point in mincing words and every reason to cut to the bottom line. And still retain a modicum of moral decency. So, I guess what I'm saying is that these 3-word movie descriptions are rated somewhere between "G" and "R". The rest is up to you.

And, yep, I think what I expected from these movies and what I got was pretty much the same thing — most of the time — but sometimes my reasons for watching a movie and what the movie was really about were as different as night and day.

Some of these movies I fully intended to watch and some of them I simply ran across on TV as I was recording another movie or programming VCRs after a power outage. Which means that some of these movies are my all-time favorites and some of them make me want to betray these Hollywood turds to alien bugs for being such incorrigible perverts. I haven't watched live TV since 1995 so I often get a shock when I turn it on. Yep, for this post, one word wasn't really enough and four were too many. All right, then. Here you go.

3:10 to Yuma (1957) — Farmer delivers outlaw.

3:10 to Yuma (2007) — Outlaw delivers pegleg.

Above the Law — Comeback Spook Cop.

Exit Wounds — Motown Macho Mojo.

Fire Down Below — Coal Country Caper.

Glimmerman — Comeback Spook Cop.

Hard To Kill — The Comeback Cop.

Out for Justice — Brooklyn pig hunt.

Under Seige — Nut wants nukes.

Under Siege 2 — Nut wants bucks.

Absolute Power — Thief devils president.

As Good as It Gets — Writer woos waitress.

American Pie — Pastry porking pervert.

Ben-Hur — Slave kisses butt.

Blade Runner — Assassin taps android.

The Blue Max — Flyboy taps countess.

Blow — Depp deals dope.

Bonnie and Clyde — Loser bank robbers.

The Bourne Identity — Spy meets girl.

The Bourne Supremacy — Spy loses girl.

The Bourne Ultimatum — Spy goes bye.

Bullitt — Cop burns rubber.

Casablanca — Gin joint hijinks.

Chinatown — P.I. taps client.

The Two Jakes — P.I. probes tapping.

Copland — Sheriff pares Apple.

Death Wish — Goof goes vigilante.

Death Wish II — Goof husband's revenge.

Death Wish III — Goof guns goons.

Death Wish IV — Goof hunts pushers.

Death Wish V — Bronson & Bronson.

The Deer Hunter — Steelworkers do Nam.

Die Hard — Cop foils heist.

Die Hard 2 — Cop foils hijack.

Die Hard: With a Vengeance — Cop foils heist.

Live Free or Die Hard — Cop foils hackers.

Dirty Harry — Cop versus kook.

Magnum Force — Cop versus kooks.

The Enforcer — Cops versus kooks.

Enemy of the State — Feds abuse citizens.

The Exorcist — Devil does D.C.

The Departed — Boston pig hunt.

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels — Con tap flap.

Donnie Brasco — Depp betrays dope.

Double Jeopardy — Jailbird wife's revenge.

Dr. No — Key Lime Spy.

From Russia With Love — Spy taps spy.

Goldfinger — Gold Metal Spy.

You Only Live Twice — Double O Senpai.

The Fugitive — Feds abuse power.

U.S. Marshals — Feds abuse everything.

Forbidden Planet — Astronauts woo broad.

The French Connection — Pushers punk cops.

French Connection II — Cop hunts frogs.

FX — Patsy gets played.

FX2 — Patsy played again.

Get Shorty — Collector does Hollywood.

Grumpy Old Men — Codgers woo hag.

Grumpier Old Men — Codger woos hag.

Heat — Pacino Pork Roast.

High Plains Drifter — Ghost devils town.

Hoffa — Jack does Jimmy.

Key Largo — Boys night in.

Kiss of Death — Thief drops dime.

L.A. Confidential — Detectives caught porking.

Last Man Standing — Drifter punks bootleggers.

Mars Attacks — Martians punk Earthlings.

Miller's Crossing — Gangster taps moll.

Mulholland Falls — Detective caught porking.

Murder at 1600 — Taps & Caps.

Niagara — Marilyn Monroe Magic.

Ocean's Eleven (1960) — Rat Pack Romp.

Ocean's Eleven (2001) — Rat Brat Romp.

The Parent Trap (1960) — Twins punk parents.

The Parent Trap (1998) — Hayley gets recycled.

Patriot Games — The Comeback Spy.

Patton — General throws fits.

Pirates of the Caribbean (pick one) — Swish Buckler Depp.

Quick Change — Clown punks police.

Red Rock West — Drifter's money problems.

Robin Hood (1938) — Limeys in Leotards.

The Rocketeer — Pilot devils Nazis.

Ronin — Killers kife case.

Saving Private Ryan — G.I. goes missing.

Set It Off — Janitors punk police.

Shadow Conspiracy — Soft Money Spy.

Smokey and the Bandit — Leadfoots versus loudmouth.

Smokey and the Bandit Part II — Leadfoots versus loudmouth.

Smokey and the Bandit Part III — Leadfoot versus loudmouth.

Spartacus — Slave kicks butt.

Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Lost in Space.

Star Wars — Babe in Boyland.

Taxi Driver — Cabbie cleans Apple.

Terminator — Cyborg does L.A.

Terminator 2 — Cyborgs do L.A.

Terminator 3 — Cyborgs do L.A.

Three Days of the Condor — Spook meets shutterbug.

Traffic — Duped by dope.

Uncle Buck — Uncle kicks butt.

The Untouchables — Fed's temp assignment.

post updated 12-28-12

Science Fiction for Thinkers / The Blogs

Mind's Eye

(set your volume very low for this video)

View the Mind's Eye photo album at Picasa

Dreaming Lemons Into Lemonade

Rome Riots Right and Wrong

Once in a great while a small voice from nowhere, like mine, finally gets through. No one ever has the last word and no one ever knows it all. It takes an entire world to fix global problems like those facing us in this second decade of the 21st Century.

So, while I have no desire to have the last word and no interest in pretending that I have all the answers to anything or even the best answers, it is nice to have a voice and to have it heard. And, yep, having the first word is a bit of a thrill. Click on the eyeball to see what I'm yappin' about.

Author's Note: And, yes indeed, I commented on this Wall Street Journal article as "Michael Casher". I wonder if the WSJ will change my name to "anonymous" just like the Google Chrome Store did. Only time will tell.

Cat Story

I like a brave cat but I've never known a cat that was brave all on its own. That's what human beings are for, especially cat owners. We're "backup" when a cat wants to be brave but just can't seem to muster all the courage necessary for a particular cat task.

They might be able to come up with, say, half the courage necessary— maybe a little more or a little less — and that's all I require from a cat, male or female. The willingness to do a little work around the house and around the yard for his or her keep. It gives them a sense of worth that a totally lazy and dependent cat might not ever get to experience. The cat in this brief "cat story" is not really mine but my mother's, a seventeen-year-old orange-and-white tomcat. His name is Lucky and I've blogged about him before (click on the cat clipart image for that story).

Anyway, about seven or eight years ago when Lucky was nine or ten years old, I spotted him being cornered by four deer between the chain link fence surrounding our little pond and a big wall of briar bushes. This particular spot is where I used to pitch horseshoes and it's about a thirty yard "holler" across the pond from our birdfeeder. The deer were actually eating grass over there and Lucky seemed to be watching them from inside one of the horseshoe pits. Then one of the deer started stamping his front hooves at Lucky and that made me feel protective.

"Hey!" I hollered at the deer and that made all four deer stop and look at me from across the pond. "Hey, that cat's not bothering you. That's our cat and you know that. This is his yard so you guys be nice to him, now." I knew these deer didn't understand English but I know animals understand a person's tone of voice. And I like to think that I have a little telepathic communications link with all animals. I work on it and it seems to work back. Anyway, the deer went back to grazing on the blade grass and the dandelion leaves and that gave Lucky an excuse to suddenly feel brave as hell.

To my utter amazement and sheer delight, Lucky left the horseshoe pit and began threading his way between the legs of the grazing deer. Threading and weaving and rubbing and putting his scent on them, like they were now part of his special world. But the real shocker was that the deer let Lucky rub up against their legs as they grazed. All four of them. I turned back to the house and saw my mother watching from the den's sliding glass doors, shaking her head in disbelief.

"All he needed was a little backup," she said as I stepped inside the house and I knew she was right. Hell, if I was a house cat only several inches high, surrounded by four deer several feet high, I'd need a little "backup" myself. And I'd feel damn "lucky" to get it, too.

When Saying No is Saying Yes

Today I posted a comment on an Internet forum about Google's new browser extension for opting out of Interest Based Ads. This new app only supports the Google Chrome browser right now (how convenient.)

Anyway, posting on an online forum is something I rarely do because when you comment on some website's online forum, your name and info gets used for that website's SEO (Search Engine Optimization). Yep, you'll help increase their search engine rank.

That's right. Instead of seeing your name in Google Search for what you want, you'll also be seeing it for what they want. But, I felt this topic was worth the trade-off. (I caught myself playing the good-guy role again). Here's a transcript of my comment:

"I'm almost certain that this IBA Opt-Out is basically another way for Google to spy on our Internet activities. Cookies-In or Cookies-Out, The Big G will know even more about us now than they did before. I'm also convinced that our demographics-in or demographics-out will make a great citizen profile package for the NSA, the FBI and even the CIA.

Our opting-in or opting-out of Google Spyware (let's face it, a cookie IS spyware and it's never a free treat) will make us all accomplices in corporate spying for the federal government. And who do you think the feds report to? Hmmm? But that's another story altogether. Yep, more greenback doggie bags for Switzerland and The Caymans. Our tax dollars tapped for more black-ops. And we helped."

And they actually posted it...

*WARNING! Clicking on the above link today CRASHED my DELL PC because of an outdated BIOS that does not match the Intel Celeron D motherboard that is supposed to be inside my DELL B110 desktop. But there is no Intel board inside my PC. I had an Intel(R) Board ID Tool verify that for me a few minutes ago. So, proceed at your own risk. Google changed the link anyway to hide THEIR lying-ass shit. Jesus H. Christ, what a goddamn lying-ass world. Everyday the lies and deception from the most "trusted" American companies gets worse and worse. People, avoid DELL like the plague. And only use Google Chrome to "view websites" and be very careful about what online companies you give access to your online information. The real danger is from within, not from the outside. The real danger is from the "trusted" sites. Somebody give me a goddamn ray gun. 11-13-11

Author's Update 10-25-11: As you can see, the insufferable sneaky-ass cowards at Google removed the destination URL of the above comment link. BEWARE PEOPLE! This is the last time I'll ever warn the public about what's going on behind your backs. You're on your own now. Good luck.

Author's Update 9-28-11: And, yeppir, I posted it as "Michael Casher" and that's the way it showed until today, 9-28-11. Then my name mysteriously changed to "anonymous". Hmmm. Looks like more black-ops crap to me.

My Comic Secret

Yep, the cat's out of the bag. I liked Sam Kinison. Not everything he did but enough of it to be a fan. Instead of walking on egg shells around sensitive social issues he waded right in. If it was something that needed to be exposed, he exposed it. Instead of pussyfooting around the tough subjects just to make a lousy buck, he risked it all to make you laugh about the shit you didn't have to take anymore from life or from anybody else.

Planet Mike and the Seven Moons

Saddam, bin Laden, Al-Qaeda, LulzSec: What the hell's the difference?

I think it's time for decent people in the world to join together and be of one mind against terrorism. That includes facing our own demons and stop being cat fascinated by the bad-boy mentality behind youths, like the members of LulzSec, who have no respect for anything including you and me, our governments, the companies we do business with, our personal lives, our private property and the concepts and ideas we cherish, including the right to privacy.

It's time to stop supporting the bad asses who want to rule the world with pure will and nothing more. No one has the right "to have fun" at the expense of others. Stop being afraid of these goddamn hacker bastards and stop supporting their illegal activities. Stop being a bunch of candy asses and go after them. Stop LulzSec now.

It's time for the CIA to drag these hacker bastards away from their computers and silently and permanently erase the memory of their unfortunate existence from the face of the earth. Are we men and women or a bunch of freakin' mice? Get the bastards now. That also means getting the bastards who give them voices on the Internet. Do it now. Before it's too late.

Keystone Tax Fraud

At first, I wasn't going to "dash into the fray" — as they say in Merry Old England — over the latest attempt by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania to defraud not only its 12 million residents but to defraud the nation, as well. But, someone has to point the finger at the guilty parties and squeal here, and I've already written my Fred Fortune post this month, so he's not going to do it.

When Pennsylvania taxpayers file their PA state personal income taxes in 2012 (for tax year 2011), they'll be asked by the Commonwealth to declare the sales tax on untaxed online purchases — now pay close attention to the creative fraud process here — as personal income that needs to be reported. Un-friggin'believable. Pennsylvania already leads the nation in taxation. Pennsylvanians are taxed by their state government more than any other Americans in the nation. It's been that way for decades.

That's right, we Pennsylvania residents line the state coffers for our money-grubbing bureaucrats in the state capital even more than they do in New York State or the State of Illinois. Even more than California. And now the fat cats in Harrisburg expect us to declare unpaid sales tax for online purchases as INCOME and pay state income taxes on it. Whoa! Stop the stagecoach! Before too long the robber barons we stupidly voted for will be holding out their hats to collect a tax when we pay our taxes. Somehow, someway, by some convoluted logic that only Pennsylvania politicians seem to understand, the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania will no doubt, in the foreseeable future, consider all monies spent by its tax-paying residents as INCOME instead of EXPENDITURES.

Yeah, yeah. I know. Those on the state dole figure that the 6% sales tax that is not collected by online businesses for purchases made online by Pennsylvania residents is somehow due the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. Hold the ponies! I even have a problem with that being a given. Here's an illustrative example. Shopping online at an out-of-state business is like buying salt water taffy in Atlantic City. What the hell right does the state of Pennsylvania have to any of that money? That's right, Pennsylvania has NO RIGHT to that sales tax. If New Jersey can't collect it online for itself, that's New Jersey's problem. But one thing that uncollected online sales tax definitely ISN'T is taxable income for that Pennsylvania online customer. Gimmee a break, already.

You guys and gals down in the state capitol building can shove that notion you know where. We didn't elect you to pick our pockets. If you need to find creative revenue somewhere why don't you let the state police actually fine truckers, Fed Ex drivers and UPS drivers when they break the speed limit or is the posted speed limit in Pennsylvania only for Mom and Pop and commuters? Do you state legislators want another creative revenue idea? How about foregoing the next pay raise you highway robbers automatically give yourselves each year and donate it to the online sales tax fund? There you go. Yeah, that hit you where it counts. Now you know how the rest of us feel.
Damn your worthless hides. What we need here in the Keystone State is to bring back tarring and feathering and the practice of running public offenders (which includes but is not limited to public officials) "out of town on a rail" and mandate both forms of punishment for anyone in Harrisburg who tries to slip their hands into our pockets and purses while we're not looking. When your bank-robbing asses are humiliated and run out of town for defrauding the public and for betraying the public trust, then maybe we can put some men and women back in the state legislature who actually know the most basic principles of accounting.

Until then, we Pennsylvanians are in for a pretty rough ride. Only in Pennsylvania can you be guaranteed not to get your money's worth. It's enough to make you ask for your money back.

My World

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